When a sister and a brother
disagree
gently,
fiercely,
in full love and respect
and desire to learn
from one another,
say on the covenant
of marriage,
whether it is between
a man and a woman
or two people,
after decades
of study and listening and prayer,
watch out:
the Spirit
is moving.
That is the love,
those are the tears,
that is the hope,
this is the impasse:
there is no certainty,
but faith
and difference
and a next step:
bind hands
and pray
and ride the wind
that is teaching us
to fly:
terror
and ecstasy,
O God
that we love
and do not
understand
and who
we follow
wherever,
together.
When a family is so large
That you feel lost in the crowd
And the only ones you feel you know are the ones you grew up fighting with
Or when they aren’t there, your closest friends are the maids in the kitchen
When all on the outside see love and beauty and closeness
When from the inside you see frustration and discord
When it feels like everything is a show and lies
And worst of all you can’t figure out who the show is for
When you just want to run away and hide and cry
But instead you stay and smile and make small talk
Hoping to avoid anything uncomfortable
But it is all uncomfortable because you simply don’t belong
But here we go again
Not one, not two, but three funeral services
And worse yet, a visitation you can’t escape
Where people you don’t know want to tell you that they are sorry for your loss.
When all the time you simply hope that it is all over soon.
That people will all go away happy.
That you won’t hurt anyone’s feelings
or say something stupid that you will regret
Hoping that you can get back to your own dysfunctional life.
In quiet peace and desperation
Trying to figure out how the world works
And finally get your feet under you … If that is even possible
Watch out the Spirit is moving. This! Good words, challenging words, honest words.
Eloquent and moving.
Marcia